Saturday, March 29, 2008 . 19:31
My future seem dim and yet dark. I understand and plan my path but circumstances are not in my favor. Why do i live to regret right now? Where is the old sun shining boy? Guess he had grown up to be an gloomy old man.
When i was bathing, a stupid thought just came over me. Since your life is useless, why not end it. It isn't fun for you anymore and living will make no difference. Why live? What a dangerous trick there. Almost fell for it. Crazy thought. Even i am useless to myself i am still useful to someone else. Will i fall into depression or just another silence slumber.
Wow....this week isn't a wholly wonderful week to begin with anyway.
If i am given the chance again, i will cherish those who are important to me. I still miss those days with you. where are u right now? I gave up so i will just be a shadow of your past that you are ashame of. I knew i was never for you. But to me you are perfect. That's enough.
A fleeting moment in my memories,
An unintended meeting that never occur,
A romance that has yet to be fill,
A life to be with you.
Saturday, March 22, 2008 . 19:00
Words doesn't match up to actions, actions doesn't match up to thinking and thinking doesn't match up to words. Cycle is the word to all.
Gave my single hood status a thought last night. Risky i would say in my position right now. What could i afford to them. I guess it would be hurt and negligence.
Will i be able to return back there again? A big question for me. What would they think? What would they do? Things will never be the same for us. Just memories that never fades.
Friday, March 21, 2008 . 02:10
We always thought there was a clear line separating Simple and Complex, only few had seen it so closely linked.
Julian you are just like a book without a book cover. People likes to cover you with different covers. They judged you by the cover they liked you to wear, but no one had actually flipped and read the story written in you.
I know the affairs of life doesn't bother you much, you would be leaving anyway. Just a year time, who will remember or hear from you again. You be in a land of strangers, fighting it out for you future. We all know you couldn't wait to study over there. I believe it will be better over there. The food there is good too. Yummy.
Can't wait to speak to you again Julian. I know you will always be fine, still smiley, carefree and crazy over all the delicious looking stuff. Still you are the one and only Julian. Who knows you best? Just only me.
Julian
Sunday, March 09, 2008 . 13:33
I have a strong disinclination for rainy days. I just love cloudy days. Rainy days just dampen the atmosphere in my heart. Rainy days are sad days. How is it so?
Cloudy days i plea you to be back into my life. I would like to take a walk in such a romantic weather with "you". I can't find "you" yet. Where is "you" ?
Being warm isn't a heartwarming feeling, yet feeling cold is a lonely feeling. Warmth is something physical however it can be so superficial in my cœur.
Saturday, March 01, 2008 . 22:45
Here it goes again.....The same old story of a boy turns into an adult. After much years of chasing and pursuing, nothing much have yet change. Circling this hopeless cycle, the boy have been on his knees praying countlessly. How can someone so invigorated seem comatose?Signed,
Julian